how can I help
I'm so feeble
my sadness interferes
in its nagging wheedle

I look around
and pray for those
who ask for love
in their wilting pose

sometimes I laugh
which I know is cruel
but feel inept
a token jewel

sometimes anger
at me is directed
and I die in hope
my strength infected

wallowing in question
my direction has gone
a feeling of hopelessness
without a dawn

is there a way
to spread my passion
and belief in my heart
that there is a ration

that gives a smile
to others of need
so they pick themselves up
and follow a creed

that gives their blood
a spiritual flow
and gives their eyes
a silver glow

it is up to them
a sad reality
but I want to help
to escape banality

the air is open
for a song of joy
I hope the voices are found
for us all to employ

DeaBeePea 5-26-18


those wonderful nights
when I cry
feeling inside
the tears that won't die

listening to music
flooding my dreams
and thinking of lost love
those disappearing streams

I feel sad
but my heart still sings
doubt's shadow arises
before morning rings

I don't care much
about death or life
but I enjoy my pain
and it's challenging strife

my steps uncertain
but I want to run
to a whole new place
between moon and sun

wiping tears won't help
I will let them tickle
my puffy cheeks
and mouth so fickle

my curiosity is numb
but it still fights on
with meager victories
with a search for dawn

love seems weak
for an unknown reason
as my devotion struggles
to find a season

but I hang on to hope
and litter my thoughts
with silly lines
and infinite dots

that lead to infinity
and encircle my corpse
that flutters in the wind
as my morals warp

I have to fight
and look at dignity
and encourage my brothers
to spurn malignity

I know I will wake
and smile at faith
finding strength
in spiritual wraith

and love will return
in its life-saving light
feeding my spirit
and making it bright

sorrow will never pass
but it will fade for now
and be a part of me
in an echoing bow

it makes me whole
and gives me a vision
and deep understanding
of fear and excision

so if I hold your hand
I will love tomorrow
and think of you all
and the passions we borrow

DeaBeePea 5-26-18


10:00 A.M. and 11:00
3:00 P.M. and 7:00
To bed a bit late
But the day was great

A wee bit busy
But it’s all voluntary
So no complaints
About certain constraints

An occasional hassle
So I have to speak out
Don’t push it buddy
I can be ruddy

But a time will come
At least I hope
A crack in the wall
When I can have a ball

But I don’t mind this
It’s fascinating stuff
Lots of cool friends
And elbows to bend

So I won’t complain
But might whine a bit
When I get over-tired
In my attempt to be inspired

My calendar is full
But there a few spaces
A few months from now
When I stop asking HOW?

DeaBeePea 5-25-18

The Connection

Finding joy
When lost in sadness
Looking for the light
Through misty madness

Where is it
Is it not the season
To form a smile
Is there no reason?

My laugh is hollow
And heart is quiet
There is no beat
And no loveful diet

Tears don’t matter
They can be joyful too
But they seem to hurt
Away the sweetness blew

There are miracles
Yes, they are all around
But my head is down
And I hear no sound

Except a drone
Without a thud
There is no end
A muddy flood

Colourless thoughts
With no emotion
Flat and bare
not even commotion

where is the stir
and riotous complaints
demanding revolution
cutting restraints

I will have to jolt myself
And reawaken
My job isn’t done
My hopelessness mistaken

But at least I’m aware, of this
Current wallow
So I must take breakfast
With a sugary swallow

DeaBeePea 5-26-18


out of the hole
that we sometimes visit
is peaceful time
and also exquisite

seeing hope
for a brand new time
laughing at oneself
for that rather weird chime

a bell that rings
with nagging clang
testing your patience
with a song you once sang

it never goes away
but you forget the words
and find a ladder
that points to the birds

that sing a song
that is much more cheerful
and makes you brave
in a way less fearful

you are a universe
a world of your own
but you are also an us
in your loving zone

and that is where
you want to be
because there is so much joy
in this skybound tree

DeaBeePea 5-27-18

Sock 1


Mary Lou and Bev

In their sexy socks

Stripes, of a horizontal persuasion

If only they could talk!


Yes, they are very cheery

A metaphor of the wearers

And reminiscent of their youth

As little holy terrors


DeaBeePea 5-29-18


Sock 2


One thing about summer

I don’t have to wear socks

Letting the air between my toes

Through the holes in my lime green crocs

DeaBeePea 5-29-18


Sock 3


I wake up each morning

And look down to the floor

And see my socks from yesterday

And maybe even from the day before


So, I do a sniff test

To decide which pair to wear

And sometimes the ones I have chosen

Are a holey unmatched pair


DeaBeePea 5-29-18


Socks 4


Why do I buy cheap socks

From the Giant Tiger store

When I know they won’t last

I should really be paying more


If my toe nails aren’t trimmed

The process is even accelerated

So maybe I should try Sunspel Cotton Donegals

So my socks will no longer be berated


DeaBeePea 5-29-18 


Socks 5

My top drawer of underwear and socks

Of McGregors and Fruit of the Loom

An interesting selection

With a story of ultimate doom


The sock total is forty-three

A bad number right away

But that’s not all my friends

There is much more here at play


Twenty-three have no mate

Hence the number of pairs is ten

And when I unravel them

It might even be worse again


DeaBeePea 5-29-18



Her ideas for a book were gatherable

She was a gatherer of mystical thought

Now here publication has been gathered

By the publishers that she fought


It was a story of a famous gathering

Of wool-gatherers that she once knew

Whose lives began to ungather

As the wild Irish winds blew


Their leader Ian Gatherby

Knew they had to regather

And had to escape the tollgatherer

Who spoke in silly blather


Then they suddenly forgathered

A man of influence and wealth

And he led them to a castle

With quiet and artful stealth


We must start anew he said

And pregather a crew in union

Joining our hands in gather

Forming a strong communion


Well I have summarized this entity

A gathering of historical slather

And I certainly hope, your thoughts to gather

You read… a best-seller, I gather

DeaBeePea 5-30-18

Child Play?


a Canadian and American

a tooth for a tooth

playing with fire

in this stupid mire


ego and conceit

and playing games

immoral and illegal

so falsely regal


this crap is serious

many are hurt

forgetting about history

it is no mystery


retaliation and anger

the water has broke

autonomy and control

the elimination of soul


reckless and ironic

as the flag-wavers are punished

wallowing in security

of lies and impurity


a collapse of faith

if it hasn't already

shaking our heads

in hopeless threads


trading and posturing

and we're the pawns

watching this sideshow

as the future dawns


not an early light, I say

more like darkness

a pathetic reality

a childish duality


DeaBeePea 6-1-18



Is this a fix?

I tend to believe so

We’ve been fooled again

With disaster in tow


But to repair is unlikely

We must start anew

Blast the structure

With a brand new crew


But when we build

It must be from bottom

Spreading the wealth

That was previously not ‘em


And scan the horizon

And see success

In places of sanity

For future to bless


The capitalist greed

Has trickled down

Not the money

With the face of a clown


The answer lies

between the cracks

Where ethical and moral

Behavior quacks


Loud and resounding

Our voice must be heard

Because this current trend

Is hopelessly absurd


DeaBeePea 6-4-18


I have never been seen

Nor will I ever

As invisible

As a crystal jelly sheen


Unknown to all

In humorous quackery

Dipping my head

In a black-water ball


Laughing and crying

At the same time

Dancing naked

To heaven’s sighing


Thinking alternatives

Not always acceptable

Cringing at myself

For my perturbatives


Will I ever be dusty?

My silhouette seen

So all those alive

Will find out I am fusty


Maybe I should scream

And bare all to you

And be seen in reality

Without any seams


And all my fears shall be redeemed

And heads will nod

Not that scary after all

As my gusty nights dreamed


Not a serious being

But one with love

As a part of humanity

A universal speck of seeing


DeaBeePea 6-9-18



considered plain

but very vital

'cause if it's black

I'll send it back


burnt sienna

and cocoa brown

are an artists essence

without fluorescence


umber has variants

and kobicha dyes

russet has a citrusy flair

while peru is so fair


so to be bored by brown

and its earthy connotation

is quite simply wrong

despite its implied smell so strong


There's desert sand of Aztec hue

and khaki of historical stew

while buff almost takes us to yellow

joining tan in mellow


so those who don't like chestnut

quite simply brown me off

and if they try to pamper me

I'll punch their brown-nose and flee


not only that

you can make it two ways

one includes red

and the other uses orange and black instead


I find it calm

and environmentally connected

a partner of green

in the landscape scene


the shade names not standardized

making it a naming game

which is lots of fun

and even good for a pun


like saying I'm a leather buff

is pretty corny

and calling someone Rosy Brown

with a deadpan frown


but after all is said

and done

I am very fond of smokey topaz

and its crystallized razzmatazz


DeaBeePea 6-18-18

Heading Out


It is that time

to head out

food and wine

for me to dine


but I'd better

be careful

because as I walk

I seldom balk


Gee, I could use that

I like that too

pretty cool

I like it in blue


and that book, oh my

I've never read it

I hear it's good

not needing edit


and that fish is on sale

I will have that tonight

and maybe some asparagus

it looks just right


and what the heck

another bottle

after all, wine keeps

and opens the throttle


as I zip around

my knapsack getting full

my back is hurting

Man, all this push and pull


it is a steep hill

I need some water

I also some paper

for a forehead blotter


and as I pass

the coffee shop

I'll get some coffee

and take a flop


there's more places ahead

how much have I spent

I'd better stop

if I want to pay the rent!


DeaBeePea 7-6-18

Instant Pot


I now have an Instant Pot

will I use it?

or is it just decoration

and will I abuse it?


the booklet is bad

written in "misunderstand"

some foreign language

I might as well

despite my stupidity

as I slap my thigh


It stands very proud

big and round

taking up counter-space

as I wait for a sound


a new adventure

if you call it that

a 6 qt. tease

with a round black hat


DeaBeePea 7-6-18

The "Great" War

so full of irony
that fateful walk
from peace to death
from elitist talk

"I do not want my son
to be a soldier"
a cry of sanity
nothing bolder

but the Western Front 
was beckoning
while we awaited
our reckoning

stumbling over wire
gassed to madness
holding brothers
a brand new sadness

a confusing why
we are all one
why is this happening
under the blackened sun

heroes were born
from this evil path
and some and home
were drowned in wrath

a hundred years later
we still remember
what went on
till that cold November

we seldom learn
from tragic errors
and shake our heads
at holy terror

we must rid of fear
our stabbing enemy
scraping our souls
like living emery

it is unlikely
that I will see the light
in my short time here
in futile fight

but I pray my children
will see a new place
touching each other
with gentle face

DeaBeePea 7-6-18



how cool

oxygenated air

my sliding door open

to all that is fair


light breeze blowing

the sun's happy smile

leafing through pages

of my time and its style


unplanned in its chaos

frittering in segments

writing chronically

making little sense


but it's fresher now

the thoughts and hope

more joyous and unrestrained

with a wider scope


so I can view myself

as something cool

contrary to popular belief

as I satirically fool


breathing in

and breathing out

there is contentment

no need to shout


I feel like embracing

all my friends

but of course, that is my

so often penned


DeaBeePea 7-6-18




is about writing about beer

and not drinking it

writing about sex

and not having it

writing about food

and dieting

writing about traveling

and not moving an inch

writing about wishes

without a penny in my pocket

writing about love

without shedding a tear

writing about God

and not asking for miracles

writing about hope

and not giving up

writing about writing

without being verbose

writing about fresh air

without going outside

and writing about myself

without laughing too loud.


DeaBee Pea 7-4-18

Jazz 1



there is nothing like jazz

especially bebop

but has endless history

in its syncopated hop


the dixieland two-beat

of New Orleans style

with the marching bands

that played for miles


the first recordings

by a band that was named

somewhat with gall

eminence was aimed


but as time when on

the negro was enchanted

with riverboat dreams

and jazz was planted


the King and Satchmo

and a man named Buddy

echoing the pain

of a world so ruddy


the path they followed

to those Mississippi towns

branches of hope

on all-night rounds


Kansas City and Chicago

those simmering pans

frying up the heat

with rhythmic hands


blues and swing

became good friends

in Pendergast joints

of profiting amends


the Midwest sound

was bouncy and loud

with Moten and Basie

inspiring the crowd


Armstrong was there

with his special sound

that awakened those

who wanted to expound


a personal style

that sold the image

and started the screams

of an impassioned scrimmage


and in quiet Davenport

was a man named Bix

and his Wolverines

on a touring fix


it was hard to establish

a livable foundation

in an attempt to live

on a drinking flirtation


everything coalesced

in this explosive art

as New York and Paris

boasted jazz cartes


hotels were booming

and the big bands came

dancing and bopping

to a large crowds acclaim


it was joyous ruckus

an arrangers dream

opening the doors

to eclectic themes


DeaBeaPea 7-4-18

Jazz Part 2


The Ellingtonians brought the sound

Of jungle music and cat growls

Mulatto dancing girls

As the Cotton Clubbers howl


Chick went up with Benny

And his wild drums won out

A legendary contest

Called the big band shout


All through this history

The Hawk was always blowin’

From the Cotton Pickers to bebop

Certainly ever knowin’


The Ellingtonians brought the sound

Of jungle music and cat growls

Mulatto dancing girls

As the Cotton Clubbers howl


Sophistication a shadow

of Harlem’s real people

disguising all reality

with white man’s wealthy steeple


Onyx Club, Three Deuces, the Famous Door

The clubs were really bouncin’

and sometimes the bands did battle

one for a bash and trouncin’


Café Society was born

With Hammond’s kindly hand

As everyone joined together

In integrations hopeful land


Strange Fruit was there to grow

With a dirge of eerie glow

Lady Day and her gardenia

Shone in graceful flow


Billy Eckstine crooned

As the band soon rose to fame

A congregation of giants

Who played a brand new game


Blakey, Vaughan and Dizzy

Blazing a whole new path

Soon it was to be bebop

A joyous form of wrath


Ornithology became to topic

That everybody studied

As a new guy called Bird

As all old thought was muddied


The big band era continued

But many were drifting away

Basie and Kenton kept rolling

With various techniques to display


One was eclectic and minor

The other a bluesy swing

There seemed to be room for all

In this syncopated fling


The band that played the blues

Woody Herman’s vision

The four brothers played their theme

And Burns his autumn prevision


DeaBeePea 7-5-18



friends are a miracle

they are always there

they put up with me

and my naughty glare


they laugh at me

and ask me to laugh too

it brings me joy

with a contented coo


it gives me hope

that all is not bad

in this crazy world

where so many are sad


they help me see

all that is grand

and do things for me

that help me stand


I am not sure

who I am

but they tell me a story

of my wonderful lam


an escape from doubt

and silly fears

I join their hands

with mighty cheers


I love you all

I am so lucky

and if we meet soon

that will just ducky!!


DeaBeePea 7-4-18




it's time to move

I'm writing too much

my mind is dancing

and beginning clutch


and I'm skidding

as if out of gear

don't get me wrong

I know how to steer


but my destinations

keep getting confused

and my emotions are intertwined

and becoming fused


and if I keep going

I might say something dumb

or hurtful and mean

with my accidental thumb


banging on the keyboard

at a crazy pace

not even thinking

which is a bit of a disgrace


but poetry enters me

without any warning

and it spews out like syrup

in its magical aborning


it's a spiritual birth

without any pain

although sometimes realization

leaves a stain


and here I am writing

about doing something other

but I can't seem to stop

this is nuts, oh brother


some will question my sanity

that's totally okay

it doesn't matter to me

my feet are on clay


I can dance and slide

and change to new decades

and some far back

with jazzy parades


I can sit and rotate

I've been told that before

or go to sleep

but that's an awful bore


unless I dream

something really erotic

but we won't discuss that

it might get chaotic


but as I started to say

with my typical class

I have things to do

and must get off my ass


DeaBeePea 7-3-18

Changing Altitudes and Attitudes


I simply don't know

the waves are larger

perceptions are wide

and it's a slippery slide


the widening vision

and steepest cliffs

come and go

with flashing glow


darkness and light

in a flickering show

my eyes can't adjust

my traditions turn to dust


so I turn to imagination

a reliable old friend

but much more useful now

without my former bow


the ego has slowed

but of course, there's still a twinkle

I am a man

not quite an also-ran


because I have new angles

less severe

with more acceptance

and expanded admittance


when the oxygen is low

I'm an underdog I know

but the view from the bleachers

has its many teachers


I am not a climber

or a tundra hiker

nor am a hero

in my bouncing zero


the ball that follows the words

as the band plays on

we all sing together

in our rollicking blether


the universe is large

as so is my world

but my friends are all here

and that makes me cheer


DeaBeePea 7-3-18



the simplest essay?

but there is no answer

or formula to depict

this fanciful play


it's been a project

all my life

and many have known me

my life not so flecked


and that is sad

because I had it in me

I just didn't know how

to deal with mad


I laughed a lot

but some of it was teasing

seeing myself

as a rather strange blot


not distinct or floral

or indicative of thought

what the heck was I

in this invisible quarrel


but God looked down

and said be patient

live and learn

and straighten that frown


some day he said

you will laugh from the heart

not from the mind

with its swallow thread


I have no date

or time exactly

when this thing took place

during my ignorant wait


maybe it's as simple

as asking for it

tired of the option

and it's seething pimple


there is a calmness and ease

and occasionally it fools me

because I expect an explosion

and all I get is a breeze


so who knows

what is going on?

but it doesn't matter

that's just the way it goes


DeaBeePea 7-3-18

Suddenly Grandkids


a short time ago

nothing in sight

maybe it was me

in my aimless flight


and my kids didn't seem

to have a direction

well, some vague ideas

with silent inflection


little talk about

things of family way

more financial issues

that come frequently at play


and this and that

of annoying texture

that rubbed me the wrong way too

wanting me to lecture


but the times have changed

one is already

and two more on the way

leaving me unsteady


how did it happen?

what a stupid question you say

and yes, I see your point

but there is more at play


it's the magical reality

of this amazing miracle

and the swirling emotions

and passions so spherical


words mean little

it's that silent hand

with the sparkling wand

sprinkling white sand


generations will flow

with a mighty oceans wave

coating us with salt

in our stratospheric cave


innocent and small

we see this bundle grow

immersed in our lives

that are no longer slow


the escalating times

tell us to feel

every special moment

as our hearts begin to heal


it's not about easy

or challenges and tasks

its tears and laughter

and the change in your mask


DeaBeePea 7-3-18



I was born

Not news

But I had no idea

What to do


I gobbled and gurgled

Trying to talk

It was a matter of time

Before I knew


That people were funny

And hard to know

And I started to get

Nervous in my cries


I looked around

I could hear the laughter

Did I have elephant ears

Or purple eyes?


I walked to school

In frightening fear

My pants were down

In a life-like dream


My fingers caught

In the big school door

The pain was fierce

My tears in a stream


A class clown I became

And an admirer of Letharios

Not knowing my place

in my social chagrin


but as my world

began to expand

I saw the horizons

And where to begin


An academic challenge

To figure things out

Combining music

And political thought


Education a pause

As much as a project

As I started to meet

The me that I sought


But the trail spiraled

And love compounded

A noteworthy journey

A multi-directional spree


Rewards and passions

Tears and sadness

No badge to wear

Or future to see


Cloudy and doubtful

But prayer and hope

Carried me through

To perseverance’s place


Now there’s celebration

And look-back shadows

And joy springs loose

As I show my face


Much less fear

And serene acceptance

What did I do

To end up here?


Very little in retrospect

As I ponder now

Except finding myself

And a few reasons to cheer


DeaBeePea 6-26-18

Thinking You Know


I knew what she said

at least I thought so

I know she's going to say

that I just don't listen instead


well, she has a point

at least some of the time

but I was sure she said it

it wasn't just a mime


she described it thoroughly

I heard the words

so unless I'm deaf

I'm not for the birds


But if I open my mouth

and ask what happened

and she says nothing

then it's all abandoned


I'll have mud on my face

and she'll be mad

for my nonchalance

and my memory bad


I still think I'm innocent

but I'm a man

and she's a woman

so I'm in the can


I'll never escape

this male vice

that keeps me pressed

and ready to slice


so I'll do my best

and stumble along

and even though she denies it

I think she's wrong


DeaBeePea 7-8-18



My place is a mess

but it's a choice

if I was really fussy

I'd have a new voice


But I know where things are

conveniently located

and I clean up enough

that landslides are abated


paper seems to grow

I don't know its reproductive history

and pens disappear

it's a real mystery


and eveywhere I turn

is a dirty dish

and a sharp utensil

that just went whish


under a chair

or immovable table

along with a loonie

caught under a cable


and my library card

left in a book

that is buried alive

in an inaccessible crook


and socks are lying

under the bed

happy in the shade

and a long way from dead


just a bit musty

could I wear them once more?

but if I did that

there'd be much more in store


so I guess the solution

is just to clean up

and sacrifice a day

of superfluous play


at least that way

I can have someone over

and go in the backyard

and pick out a clover


DeaBeePea 7-8-18



I thought about it


and the idea

of not blinking



listening to bugs

looking down

staring at rugs


the back of my hands

kind of weird

and asking

should I grow a beard



no thinking allowed

keep that vacuum

and that invisible cloud


should I keep trying?

does it work

or is it just play

with very few perks


wasting time

is not unknown

I do it often

as time is blown


so I guess I won't worry

I'll just journey on

with serenity

and a taunting yawn


DeaBeePea 7-9-18

Make a free website with Yola